Viral Saginet
6Nov/17Off

Dear People Who Are Neither My Doctor Nor My Lover….

This cartoon is a collaboration with Grace Allum. Thanks, Grace!


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Transcript

Panel 1
(This panel is mostly a caption, in large white lettering on a dark blue background. There is a woman at the bottom of the panel, speaking directly to the reader, apparently speaking the words of the caption.)

Caption: Dear people who are neither my doctor or my lover:

Panel 2
(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a woman with short hair and glasses asks a question with a cheerful attitude. In the other subpanel, a woman in a jacket and collared shirt is speaking with a concerned expression.)

Glasses: Have you had “the surgery” yet?

Jacket: When you guys went to Europe, we all figured it was for “the whole package?”

Panel 3
(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: I am never going…

Panel 4
(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a man wearing a sweater-vest asks a question. In the other subpanel, a balding man who looks like a businessman cheerfully asks a question.)

Sweater-Vest: So did insurance cover the surgery?

Businessman: Well, your wife is postmenopausal, so she doesn’t really miss anything, right?

Panel 5
(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: …to tell you…

Panel 6
(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a woman with tattoos gestures with her hand while asking a question. In the other subpanel, a woman in a striped shirt intertwines her fingers and cheerily asks a question.)

Tattoos: Are the nerves all right? Is everything “functioning?”

Striped Shirt: So I assume you’ve had both surgeries?

Panel 7
(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: …what my junk looks like.

Panel 8
(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a bearded man wearing a tank top asks a question. In the other subpanel, a woman wearing a polka-dot sweater asks a question.)

Beard: Did your wife have to give permission for…you know?

Polka Dot: You’ve had the surgery, right?

Panel 9
(Final panel. The top half of this panel contains only large white letters on a dark blue background. In the bottom half of the panel, we see Sweater-Vest from Panel 4 and the woman from Panel 1 talking.)

Sweater-Vest: Then how can I know you’re really a woman?

Woman: Because I told you.

Footnote at bottom of strip: All dialog based on questions people have actually asked!

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