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20Nov/17Off

Minimum Evidence and the Minimum Wage

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Transcript of cartoon
PANEL 1
The panel shows a scholarly-looking man, wearing a tie, a vest, and glasses, holding up a finger as he makes a point. He’s speaking directly to the readers.
VEST DUDE: Study after study has found that the minimum wage does not increase unemployment. But no study is 100% certain. Virtually all the empirical studies could be wrong!

PANEL 2
The man continues talking to the reader, but is interrupted by beeping from his cell phone, which he lifts to look at.
VEST GUY: We have to be cautious not to jump to any… Excuse me a moment… There’s some news.

PANEL 3
He looks at his cell phone as he speaks, grinning with delight.
VEST GUY: Wow! A new study says the minimum wage causses a big increase in unemployment! This is GREAT! … I mean….

PANEL 4
He is now yelling directly at the reader, arms waving above his head, looking righteously angered.
VEST GUY: HOW DARE THE BIASED LEFT IGNORE THIS IRONCLAD EVIDENCE?!?

KICKER PANEL
In a tiny panel below the bottom of the strip, Vest Guy is speaking to Barry Deutsch (the cartoonist).
VEST GUY: Once again, objective science PROVES whatever I want to believe!

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6Nov/17Off

Dear People Who Are Neither My Doctor Nor My Lover….

This cartoon is a collaboration with Grace Allum. Thanks, Grace!


If you enjoy these cartoons, please support them at Patreon! A pledge of a dollar or two means a lot to me.


Transcript

Panel 1
(This panel is mostly a caption, in large white lettering on a dark blue background. There is a woman at the bottom of the panel, speaking directly to the reader, apparently speaking the words of the caption.)

Caption: Dear people who are neither my doctor or my lover:

Panel 2
(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a woman with short hair and glasses asks a question with a cheerful attitude. In the other subpanel, a woman in a jacket and collared shirt is speaking with a concerned expression.)

Glasses: Have you had “the surgery” yet?

Jacket: When you guys went to Europe, we all figured it was for “the whole package?”

Panel 3
(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: I am never going…

Panel 4
(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a man wearing a sweater-vest asks a question. In the other subpanel, a balding man who looks like a businessman cheerfully asks a question.)

Sweater-Vest: So did insurance cover the surgery?

Businessman: Well, your wife is postmenopausal, so she doesn’t really miss anything, right?

Panel 5
(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: …to tell you…

Panel 6
(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a woman with tattoos gestures with her hand while asking a question. In the other subpanel, a woman in a striped shirt intertwines her fingers and cheerily asks a question.)

Tattoos: Are the nerves all right? Is everything “functioning?”

Striped Shirt: So I assume you’ve had both surgeries?

Panel 7
(There is nothing in this panel but large white letters on a dark blue background.)

Caption: …what my junk looks like.

Panel 8
(This panel is divided into two subpanels. In one subpanel, a bearded man wearing a tank top asks a question. In the other subpanel, a woman wearing a polka-dot sweater asks a question.)

Beard: Did your wife have to give permission for…you know?

Polka Dot: You’ve had the surgery, right?

Panel 9
(Final panel. The top half of this panel contains only large white letters on a dark blue background. In the bottom half of the panel, we see Sweater-Vest from Panel 4 and the woman from Panel 1 talking.)

Sweater-Vest: Then how can I know you’re really a woman?

Woman: Because I told you.

Footnote at bottom of strip: All dialog based on questions people have actually asked!

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6Nov/17Off

Ghost of Rehnquist

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This cartoon was inspired by reading this Shaun King article.


Transcript

Panel 1
A young Black woman is in a park, wearing a striped sleeveless shirt and black pants, talking on her cell. She looks angry. Behind her, William Rehnquist appears with a big “Poof!” He’s wearing black judicial robes (which sort of trail off into nothing, rather than him having legs) and is smiling benevolently.
WOMAN: I can’t believe the jury let that cop off! What is it with these juries? Are they just racist?
REHNQUIST: Don’t blame the juries!

Panel 2
The woman turns around, jumping back in shock. Rehnquist continues speaking cheerfully.
WOMAN: Who are YOU?
REHNQUIST: I’m the ghost of William Rhenquist! I was Chief Justice of the Supreme Court until I died in 2005.

Panel 3
The woman listens, somewhat bewildered, as Rhenquist leans closer to explain.
REHNQUIST: When I was on the court, we ruled that it doesn’t matter if a suspect really was dangerous. If a cop says he believed the suspect was dangerous, any police shooting is legal.
(Footnote: See Tennessee v Garner & Graham v Connor.)

Panel 4
The woman calmly asks a question.
WOMAN: But doesn’t that give cops a huge incentive to say they thought hey were about to die no matter what the circumstances?
REHNQUIST: Clearly!

Panel 5
The woman now appears agitated, horrified. Rehnquist answers cheerfully, giving her a thumbs-up.
WOMAN: So even if a cop shoots a 9 year old kid, he just says he was terrified and he’s in the clear?
REHNQUIST: Now you’ve got it!

Panel 6
The woman yells angrily; Rehnquist, puzzled, shrugs.
WOMAN: So is the Supreme Court going to FIX that?
REHNQUIST: Er… Fix what?

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6Nov/17Off

Trump’s Transgender Ban

Transcript

Panel 1
Shows Donald Trump standing on stage, at a podium.
CAPTION: Trump to Soldiers, January 20, 2017
TRUMP: “I have your back!”

Panel 2
The image shows a soldier, in US army fatigues, looking down in surprise at a knife emerging from her chest. We can see a hand with a suit sleeve the exact same color as Trump’s from panel one, coming in from the side of the panel to stab her in the back.
CAPTION: Trump to Trans Soldiers, July 26, 2017

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6Nov/17Off

Questions You Probably Shouldn’t Ask A Stranger (collaboration with Rachel Swirsky)

If you enjoy these cartoons, please support them on Patreon. Even a $1 pledge makes a big difference to me.


Rachel Swirsky also has a Patreon! Check it out here.


Transcript of cartoon.

A BIG CAPTION AT TOP OF CARTOON says “Questions You Probably Shouldn’t Ask a Stranger.”

Panel 1
A man turns back from an ATM machine, surprised at a woman putting her hand on his shoulder.
WOMAN: How much money do you make?

Panel 2
A grocery store. A woman in the foreground examines a can of food, her back to her little son in the cart. Another woman, dressed like a movie spy (trenchcoat, dark glasses, cig dangling from lips) leans towards the toddler and whispers to him.
WOMAN: How can you know for sure your mommy loves you?

Panel 3
A public bathroom with several stalls. A woman is just emerging from a stall, and stumbles back in surprise as another woman, who bears a camera and has extremely energetic body language, approaches her, talking very cheerfully.
WOMAN: Can I take a picture of your poop?

Panel 4
A woman sits behind a table. The table has a big sign that says “Trans Student Union.” Another woman cheerfully asks her a question.
WOMAN: So, do you have a penis?

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6Nov/17Off

Seeing Global Warming

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Transcript of Cartoon

This is a single-panel cartoon (although there’s a mini “kicker” panel in the bottom right corner). The main panel shows a comfortable-looking white man, standing on top of a cliff, facing away from the cliff’s edge. He has a huge SUV parked nearby, and in the background a factory is spewing huge clouds of smoke from smokestacks. The sky is red. Behind him, way at the bottom of the cliff, standing in five feet of water, stand four people, all looking up angrily at him. All four are non-white.

MAN: Is global warming real? I just don’t see it!

Kicker panel shows a woman who was in the water in the main panel; she’s now in front of the white man and speaking to him, with a frustrated expression. Facing her, the man folds his arm and replies cheerfully.
WOMAN: Just turn around!
MAN: I’d rather not.

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16Oct/17Off

Time Travel

(This cartoon was first published on The Nib.)

If you enjoy these cartoons, please support them on Patreon.

Transcript of Cartoon:

Panel 1
CAPTION: The Year 2000

The scene shows a park or college campus scene. A woman stands in front of a table, listening with an expression of skepticism; the table has a big sign that says “NADER” hanging off the front. Behind the table, talking to the woman, is BARRY2000, who is clean-shaven and has big messy hair. Behind Barry2000, BARRY2008 appears, transported to the scene by a glowing purple ring in the air. Barry2008 is yelling in a panic at Barry2000. Barry2008 is wearing a vest over a t-shirt, has his hair tied in a ponytail, and has a van dyke beard and mustache.

BARRY2000: Nader is our only choice that isn’t a vote for evil!
BARRY2008: Barry, stop!

Panel 2
A close shot shows Barry2000 and Barry2008. Barry2000 is puzzled, Barry2008 is still intense and panicked.

BARRY2000: Who are you?
BARRY2008: I’m you! I’m Barry from 2008. I’m using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!

Panel 3
Close shot of Barry2008, who is waving his arms and still looks panicked.

BARRY2008: George W. Bush is much worse than you think he’ll be! There was a terrorist attack, and we invaded Iraq, and it’s all awful!

Panel 4
Barry 2008 continues to talk at Barry2000. Behind Barry2008 BARRY2016 appears in a glowing ring of time travel, tapping Barry2008 on the shoulder. Barry2016 is wearing a striped polo shirt, has his hair in a ponytail, and his beard is trimmed short.

BARRY2008: I literally can’t imagine a worse Pres-
BARRY2016: Excuse me, I’m Barry from 2016.

Tiny “kicker” panel at the bottom.
BARRY2024, an older, balding Barry in a v-neck shirt, has appeared and is talking to Barry2016, who looks very happy.

BARRY2024: Hi, I’m Barry from 2024. We’re ruled by giant alien roaches.
BARRY2016: So it gets better!

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2Oct/17Off

Back To The Future (Of Racism)

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This cartoon was originally published on The Splinter. Thanks, Splinter!

Transcript of cartoon:

Panel 1
The image shows a white man with glasses and a polo shirt – let’s call him “BOB” – talking at a young woman with brown skin and short spiky hair. Bob is carrying a protest sign that says “ILLEGALS GO AWAY!”

BOB: Voter ID laws aren’t racist! They just make sure that voting isn’t controlled by illegals! No one’s more against racism than ME!

Panel 2
Bob continues to cheerfully talk, waving an arm. Behind Bob, a magic fairy, with blue butterfly wings and purple hair, has appeared with a big “POOF” sound effect and touches their glowing magic wand to Bob’s waving arm.
BOB: In fact, I wish I was back in the 1950s – I’d protest with Martin Luther King Jr!
FAIRY: Wish granted!

Panel 3
Bob is now in the 1950s. We can tell it’s the 1950s because the color scheme has changed, and also, there are a lot of 1950s cars parked on the street in the background.
BOB: Whoa! I’m in the 1950s! It looks just like “Back To The Future!” Bob is listening thoughtfully, one hand on his chin.

Panel 4
A white man in a suit, tie and hat (all 1950s style), and smoking a pipe, is talking to Bob.
MAN: “Literacy tests” aren’t about race! They just make sure that voting isn’t controlled by ignorant people!
BOB: That makes sense.

Panel 5
The man is continuing to talk to Bob, now making an emphatic gesture with his pipe. Bob snaps his fingers in agreement.
MAN: No one was angry until Martin Luther King started agitating! He’s actually making racial strife worse!
BOB: Like “Black Lives Matter” in my time!
MAN: Black lives what?

Panel 6
Bob is talking cheerfully to a black man, who has a thin mustache and wears a dark suit. The man could be MLK Jr. Bob is holding a protest sign that says “MLK GO AWAY!”
CAPTION: And so…
BOB: No one’s more against racism than ME!

“Kicker” panel (a small “extra” image below the last panel)
Bob is talking happily at the Fairy, while pridefully pointing to himself with his thumb. The Fairy facepalms.
BOB: If I lived in the 1800s, I’d definitely be an abolitionist!

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18Sep/17Off

Ten Reasons We Want To Kick Out The Dreamers

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Title: TEN REASONS WE WANT TO KICK OUT THE DREAMERS

Panel 1
This panels shows a white man and woman, who look like a married suburban couple, standing behind a picket fence. The man is speaking angrily.
MAN: Because someone who spends the first year of their life abroad and 20 years here has no real connection to the U.S.!

Panel 2
A white man in a black jacket stands flipping frantically through a book.
MAN: Because the Bible tells us to treat our neighbors like shit! Especially the least well off! (It’s in here somewhere…)

Panel 3
A white woman stands behind a counter with a cash register on it. She is shrugging. Dollar bills are fluttering through the air around her.
WOMAN: Because I have no use for the money dreamers spend at my store! (What’s this stuff even for?)

Panel 4
A white man with a tidy beard stands in a park, giving the viewer the finger.
MAN: Because pissing off the libtards is reason enough!

Panel 5
A white man with hair sticking straight out and huge eyes is yelling, sweat flying from his face, in an extreme close-up.
MAN: Because people born in other countries are evil! EEEVVILLLLL!

Panel 6
Donald Trump, wearing a suit and tie and holding a pen up, speaks.
TRUMP: It’s all about the rule of law! Now excuse me while I pardon Joe Arpaio!

Panel 7
An alien, with inhumanly red skin, four arms, and a triangle shaped head with no nose or ears and only one eye, speaks cheerily. The alien is giving a thumbs up with one hand and holding a coffee mug with a smily face design in the other. The alien’s hands have eight fingers each.
ALIEN: Because like most evil aliens from Neptune, I thrive on the needless suffering of others!

Panel 8
A white woman with a knit hat and a blue shirt stands on a residential street of a city.
WOMAN: Because by adding $400 billion to the economy, they’re leaching off of REAL Americans!

Panel 9
A nice office, with an American flag on a pole, a large desk, and an executive style chair. A bald white man is hiding behind the desk; all we can see of him is his eyes and upper head, peeking out from behind the desk. He’s talking quietly.
MAN: Because my voters frighten me.

Panel 10
Two white men wearing white robes are speaking. One is middle-aged and balding; the other is young and has read hair. Both are trying to hide KKK hoods behind their back.
MAN 1: It’s definitely NOT because most Dreamers are brown!
MAN 2: GOSH no!

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4Sep/17Off

The Democratic Coalition

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This cartoon was originally published on The Nib.

Transcript of Cartoon:

Panel 1
This panel shows a diverse group of people, all listening to a smiling white man in a suit and tie. In the background is a light blue curtain.

SUIT DUDE: If the Democrats ever want to win again, we need to focus on core issues, not secondary issues! Let’s start by putting reproductive rights behind that curtain.

Panel 2
The same scene, but now a woman who was in the front of the crowd in panel 1 is now gone.

SUIT: That’s better. Oh, and let’s put immigration issues behind the curtain. Black Lives Matter and all that race stuff better go too.

Panel 3
The same scene, but several more people – including a Latinx family and a Black man – are now out of sight. There’s now only eight people in the much-shrunk crowd (counting a baby held by a man in the crowd).

SUIT: Poverty issues and gay issues and single parents and definitely trans issues – get behind the curtain.

Panel 4
Now everyone is behind the curtain (which is bulging a bit due to how many people are crowded behind it), except the man in the suit. He turns to the viewer, and with a big grin and an expansive arm gesture, says:

SUIT: See? Now this is a winning coalition!

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